Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
