that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
