Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Still dying that you shit outside
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
