i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
