Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
