Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
