I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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