his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
