If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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