This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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