guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
not ubering you a puppy
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
