did you get engaged???
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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