i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
