i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
