Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
