i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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