you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
