Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Please don't give away my fajitas
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
