i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
