He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
