Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
