I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I need a beard to bite.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
