My pussy is not your playground.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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