Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She bit a glass in half.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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