you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
