I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
