Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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