He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
nutella sex= disaster
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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