Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
