He felt like a one man threesome
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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