You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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