last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize