I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
