So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
