he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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