I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
