i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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