Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
