my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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