What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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