i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
