Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
