i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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