Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
