I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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