Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
