some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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