I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Naked Twister starts at high noon
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
