i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
