Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
