I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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